Posts tagged love.
I’ve been through a lot, and my bipolar-ness has increased, so I wanna thank those who’ve stuck by me, in good moods, and bad moods. Plus, it’ll be my 2nd year on tumblr tomorrow. Tumblr is my longest relationship :D
Two whole fucking seasons. Can you believe-that long? And I’m still a mess. I’m still a wreck. You win. *clap clap*. You get everything don’t you?
Just remind yourself that you’re still here. You’re still standing up after being knocked down. The nights spent crying due to overthinking, the mornings throwing up from not sleeping, the recklessness that follows everything after- you’re still fucking here, baby. If that didn’t tear you to complete shreds, nothing will. Breathe in, breathe out. You’ve got your shit together.
I’m gonna take my time. See people. Meet people. Date people. And go with the flow. I never wanted to, nor have, just dated someone for months at a time. I just want a solid, reliable, fun, long relationship. I don’t wanna go from person to person, wasting my time and their’s. I don’t have time to joke around like that, kinda sad really.
I met with Dana this morning in Central Park, we walked and explored a pretty big section of it. We took some photos and had a great walk. Here is a photo I took of her.
AR
I didn’t think it’d be THIS close haha. IF you guys want the real nitty gritty New York, I advise you to follow this guy. He takes aamazing photos.
First dates and first nights are always the most awkward. Getting ready, giving hugs, and finding conversation. All day today I listened to John Legend’s Ordinary People, and in all honestly, I think I should heed his and my own advice tonight. I won’t rush into anything. I’ll keep my heart right where it is, buried behind everything that tore it apart. I won’t put it on my sleeve or give it up to someone anymore- not yet anyways. I won’t fall for someone after just the first kiss, or melt at every word I hear. I have the ability to catch myself now, even when my tummy’s turning and my heart skipping. I’ll walk slowly towards a relationship and even slower while in one. Because now I know better. Because now I love where I am, and how I’m getting there. Because now I see my future, with a figurative light at the end of the tunnel, whether I have someone at this moment, or for future moments. I’m not the stupid little girl you once thought you could fool. I’ve grown up and learned my lessons, so far.
People never leave your mind; you just don’t get over them. It’s more of moving on. They’re still there yunno. Every emotion, every memory, you can’t lose that. When you’re grey, old, and forgetting where you put your glasses, they’ll still come up once in a while. People who you really love, people who meant the world to you at one point, they just get buried like childhood memories. One scent, one place, one picture can bring everything back. You never forget them. You never stop loving them, once you love them.
This has been in my inbox for a little while, not because I can’t decide on ONE specific memory, but because it hurts, yet it makes me smile thinking about it.
Well, anon, my favorite memory with my ex..
After watching a movie at the Metreon in downtown SF, we went to a gazebo kinda thing right in Yerba Buena, across the waterfall/fountains. It had some Christmas lights on it and we were pretty much alone, with the occasional passersby.. And he took out his iPhone, picked a song, put one headphone in my ear and in his, and he danced with me. I loved it. It was so perfect. It was everything. No guy has ever done that with me, or nothing remotely close. I say that I may be the most anti-cliché person you’ll ever meet, but honestly, that night was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for more.
