fuck fuck fucking fuuuuck relapses.
I look back on the night we flew back to Washington. The day you began living with me. Dead tired on the way back home from the airport. Freezing cold, yet all we could do was sleep shivering. We had it all. And I had to fuck it up. Why? Why the fuck did I keep pushing? Is this my goddamn punishment? Did I fuck up this badly to fuck over myself so badly? I shouldn’t want you anymore. I shouldn’t think about you anymore. I should be happy that it’s over. BUT WHY THE FUCK IS IT NOT WORKING!? What is it? I don’t fucking get it anymore. I don’t. I’m about to just blackout. It’s not fair. It’s not. And here I am waiting on a friend who I’ve always been there for so far, and I’m not getting shit when I need help? What is this supposed to be? Another fucking clear sign of why I’m such a stupid, fucked bitch? Because all signs are clear. Thank you, fuck.
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danadanes posted this
